I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
