Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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