i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
