plz talk dirty to me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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