Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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