Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
