Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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