Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
