you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize