and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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