Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
