real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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