im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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