Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm getting married
To pizza
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
