...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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