Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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