if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
