Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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