im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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