They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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