She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
