Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
