You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
