Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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