I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
