We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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