Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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