ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize