Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The air was thick with penises
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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