Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
