dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
