so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
