Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize