Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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