in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
