I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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