yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
