CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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