If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
