I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sobbing to NWA
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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