I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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