all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
