But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
