so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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