Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
