there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
