i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
