He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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