if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize