She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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