i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
