did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize