We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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