ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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