I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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