It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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