That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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