I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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