in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
