We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
