We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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