Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
