Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
