Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
