I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
