trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
