I've blown a few things in my day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
