This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
